So, Christmas was fine here. I was warned that "They won't do Christmas how you want it to be done" but all our years of untraditional Christmases in Key West with warm weather served me well to not expect hot cocoa, fire places, Christmas caroling, and snowbell fights or anything like that.
We had a big dinner, pretty traditional, pig, chicken, turkey (turkey is pretty expensive, my family is kinda well off to be able to have it), Sopa Paraguaya (this cheesy, fatty bread, it's made with pig grease and cheese, good, but heavy), rice, Chipa Guazu (type of Paraguayan cornbread, also a little heavy). You don't start eating until about midnite, when you all toast at midnight and say "Felicidades" or "Congratulations". What are you congratulating you might ask? Well the arrival of Jesus of course. It's so funny how very much religiously oriented the holidays are here. Even religious families in the States might go to the church service, but to toast at midnite, the very moment of the 25th to celebrate the arrival of Jesus, who does that? Paraguayans. It's the same way with Easter, like a religious family in the States would go to the Sunday Service, but would not do stuff all week long, and focus so much of it on the actual Jesus stuff, it's about the Easter bunny and painted eggs for us!
I explained that to them, that for us the more family oriented part of it is the morning after (when they would all be sleeping because of how late that they had eaten the night before) is more important to us. It's when the little kids wake up because "Papa Noel" has come with the presents and everyone gathers under the tree to open and discover the presents. One present is normal here per family member and given out during the meal on at midnite. They have another gift-giving day of the "Dia de los Reyes" or King's Day, where you exchange presents, that's because that's when the wise men actually arrived with the gifts for Jesus, so that's when you give and get gifts. You don't rely on Papa Noel too much.
While in the malls here there is a day where kids can sit on Santa's lap, and decorations with him in it, it's not really that huge of influence here, because just like the music, fashion, etc. it's all outsider influence, it's our McDonald globalization type of influence and they like it, but when it comes down to it they have their own traditions for this day.
Tragically, the next day, I ate a lot of left over pig and Sopa Paraguaya which made my stomach super upset and I ended up starting to throw up at 3 am that morning, and I was sick all the next day in bed. I am recovered now, but I don't think I will ever eat Sopa Paraguaya again (it really is fattening, but Paraguayans will always be like, "What? You don't want any of my Sopa? Why?" and will just NOT understand how I can turn it down!). So, that kinda of sucked.
But, now I am all better. Awaiting arrival of New Year's Eve. I will most likely be having a dinner again (zans Sopa) at my old fam's house, followed by party at my house for the local church youth group. Yes, my little sister of my new house (15 years old) is a member of the youth group so we will be hosting the party where I live with this family, so there will be music and dancing at my house probably until about 4, 5 or 6 in the morning (Parties in general here don't START until around midnite and then it's not uncommon to see people drinking their last beers on the buses going home around 6 am). So, yes, that's right, you read right, I will be "partying" with 15-20 years olds from the church youth group for my New Year's eve. A hell of a lot different than what I was doing last year...hmm, what did I do last year? Ohhhh... yeah.... party with some people I worked with at Bennigan's just as lame really.
New Year's Eve is so overated anyways, so much pressure to do something "exciting" and "fun" to be at the hippest place, or whatever, it's just one night. One thing that is Paraguayan tradition that I really like, is the write down on a piece of paper all the things that went badly for you that year, and then put them in the trash, mix in a little water, and dump it out into the street. Not good for pollution, but great to cleanse your soul. So, that will be nice. I feel if I just relent to the fact that my New Years Eve will be lame, and is just another day, I will not be disappointed. It doesn't matter if I was in some fancy club in Asuncion, or in my house with my youth, either way, I'm not home, not with good old friends, so it's just going to be different period. The more I embrace that, the less it will suck.
So, I dont' know if you can tell from my tone, but I am ready for vacay. Being here since February, living with families, changing your whole life, dedicating practically everyday to others, is great. But you need a rest. A time to get away from Paraguay. We have decided we will not say, discuss or worry over Paraguay during our vacation, no work related talk what-so-ever. It's just draining to be preoccupied with the plight of this youth, or this, or the school, or people showing up to your meetings, etc etc.
Plus, with the holidays it's been kind of hard to "work", nobody is going to show up to meetings anytime during the week of Christmas, or the week after, or the week of New Year's, or the week after, soooo.... I've just been hanging out in site, spending time with families, and let me tell you, there is only so much terere you can drink, only so much small chat you can tolerate.... I love love love love Paraguayans, but it's not like talking with your American friends, where you can just talk freely about whatever and be understood... your reactions, your sounds, your opinions....it's just whatever....SO........ It will be nice when we go on vacay.
We will start with 3 days in Buenos Aires, then taking a ferry over to Colonia and taking a bus to Montevideo, then on to Punta del Este for 2 days and then a beach house in La Paloma, Costa Azul for 4 days, then we make our way back. 22 more days!
God bless for our your "Good Smaritan" donations this xmas people, I will be spendingly it thriftly on this much needed-break!
Love you all!
Besitos, Lorena
Sometimes I can hardly read the Nesweeks we so generously receive in our mailboxes everyweek. Or the one-click away news stories that sit at the bottem of the Yahoo page as I wait for my mail to load either. "Suicide bombing" this, "Another 56 dead" that.
I'm not sure why now (I have some theories) but why so many of these news stories affect me now in a way they never did before. Sure, we can all read them and say "Oh, how horrible!" but yet it's all felt very very far away before. I used to read the words and feels sad, but removed. Now, it's like I am much closer. My only theory on this is I now have a deep and binding love to another kind of people outside my own fellow countrymen. Getting to know Paraguayans has helped me see that while we all may have our own little cultural things that make us tick, we're all human, the same, we all want the same things, to have the best for our families, health and happiness. Dreams that have been robbed from the families in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I am also a lot more understanding now of cultural differences and traditions. While some of the the traditions and aspects of Middle-Eastern culture seem so repressive to us liberated, independent North Americans, I realize it's just a different framework for the same thing, life that is. It's just a different style of living, a different perspective, on the same thing. I am not saying I agree with women covering from head to toe or not laughing in public etc. These are repressive and are more things that the Taliban enforeced/es than the actual cultural norms themselves.
I look at the kids here, my kids, and think how I would feel if the big, bad US government stepped in to supposedly "protect" them. Be it that the situations are different, but the families and kids that will be changed forever aren't that much different. If they "protected" them and did so by destroying everything we know - the school where the children learn, the plaza where they kids play, the soccer fields where we practice,.
I think of the families torn apart, the generation of children that have grown up in a world of war. They know nothing but war, bombs, bullets, blood, and death. They know nothing else. My blood burns.
My sentiments can be best described by the song by Rise Against, "State of the Union":
State of the union address,
reads war torn country still a mess
the words: power, death, and distorted truth
are read between the lines of the red, white, and blue
[Chorus]
Your place in hell [x2]
'Guilty' is what our graves will read,
no years, no family, we did
nothing (nothing) to stop the murder of
a people just like us
The singer, Tim McIlrach, screams all of this over the heavy bass and thrashing guitars, I imagine the screams are all the energy he has left to say all of this, for the whole damn thing is tiring, draining, frustarating. All he can do is scream about. I agree, all those right-wing motherfuckers in Congress who can go to a big public (and be seen) church on Sunday and can vote to go war, or withold money for better armor to soldiers on Monday. Why aren't they doing everything in THEIR power to stop the madness that we created. What do they think the admission for getting into hell? War, death, destruction? No? It's not their families, it's not their schools, it's not their soccer fields.
Anger only masks fear, masks sadness. This burning blood, this hate, only covers the true feelings beneath - a deep burning sadness and fear. Fear about what it says about my country, who we are. Fear, for how the world now sees us, fear for our future. Fear, could it happen to us?
Reading a story in Nesweek, I snapped, the graphic images captured by the photographer which I am sure he won all kinds of awards for his bravery to enter these horrible places (no medals or prizes for the people that actually live there in that reality) cut through my heart. Mothers wailing over dead children, bloodied bodies, burnt limbs, destruction, fire, senslessness. I threw the Newsweek clear across the living room, letting out a stabbing shout as if someone had cut a knife right through me to poke at my heart. I brokedown and cried. I can't do it. I can't read about it too much.
Maybe you smile at how sentimental I am. Maybe you just say, "Lauren, you're an idealist who can't handle the realities of this harsh world," Maybe I am just a softy.
Tell that to the mother who is holding her dead child. Tell that to the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi families that have been torn apart because of our war. Tell that to them as you walk through their bullet and bomb ridden street. Tell them their all just too fucking sentimental.
My thoughts could also be summed up in this ditty by Jack Johnson, "Crying Shame":
Its such a tired game
Will it ever stop
How will this all play out
Upside out of my mouth
By now we should know
How to communicate instead of coming to blows
We're on a roll
And there ain't no stopping us now
We're burning under control
Isn't it strange how
We're all burning under the same sun
By now we say its a war for peace
Its the same old game
But do we really want to play?
We could close our eyes its still there
We could say its us against them
We can try but nobody wins
Gravity has got a hold on us all
We try to put it out
But its a growing flame
Using fear as fuel
Burning down our name
And it wont take too long
Cause words are burning same
And who we gunna blame now?
And oh, Its such a crying crying crying shame
Its such a crying crying crying shame
Its such a crying crying crying shame, shame, shame
By now
Its starting to show
A number of people are numbers who aint coming home
I can close my eyes its still there
Close my mind be alone
Close my heart and not care
But gravity has got a hold on us all
Its a terrific price to pay
But in the true sense of the word
Are we using what we've learned?
In the true sense of the word
Are we losing what we were?
Its such a tired game
Will it ever stop?
Is not for me to say
And is it in our blood?
Or is it just our fate?
And how will this all play out
Upside out of my mouth
And who we gunna blame?
On and on
Its such a crying crying crying shame
Its such a crying crying crying shame
I have been in a car only a handful of times in the last 10 1/2 months. Only 1 Paraguayan who I have built a good friendship with knows that I used to own a car. I used a microwave for the first time since I´ve been here the other day when I was in the office to heat up some leftovers. What Paraguayans tend to notice in the photos I show them from home:
In one, Dakota is swinging in a swing (Dakota is a dog, so it´s a very funny photo), but Paraguayans always ask about the super nice houses in the background shot of the park in Key West. These are the gov´t sponsored town houses, but they always "ooo" and "aahh" at how nice they are. That´s where the poor people live!
In the shot of my sister´s house you can see the front of the house and the garage with her Volkswagon sitting inside. Just barely in the corner you can see the front corner of my car peeking into the shot. They always note this, and say, "Wow, they have two cars" I always lie and say that friends were visiting that day.
In the photo of Luchi and Dad´s wedding, they point out the knit-lace top that she is wearing. To us, this is a pretty untraditional wedding dress, but to them it looks and seems like this local knit called Nanduti. Only the very wealthy can afford to garnish their wedding dresses with this knit-lace work of Nanduti and they always "ooo" and "aahh" at this, when really, it was not handcrafted by anyone, it was most likely made in a factory. I try to explain to them it´s not Nanduti, that we don´t even have Nanduti there, but it´s to no avail. They just look at me suspiciously like I am trying to hide the fact that we are mega-rich.
OK, back to my list. I do not cringe when I see a family of four, baby in front flying down the highway on a motorcycle without helmets. Now that it is officially summertime, there are more kids selling stuff in the streets than ever. Some days my heart breaks for them, especially the real little ones, 5 and 6 years olds forced to sell their Mom´s bread, juice, or lottery tickets on the buses. Other days I just shrug it off.
There are two little boys in my neighborhood who are ALWAYS in the street selling bread, year-round. The other day a 12-14 year old boy bought some "cidra" or cider. This cider is not a strong alcohol, but it is still alcohol, fermented apple. I drank it once awhile ago and caught a slight buzz, so I know it works. So, he bought the cidra, from a friend of mine who has a hamburger stand, I asked her why she sold to him (he´s obviously young, I mean the liquor laws are practically non-existant but come on!) She said all kids drink it. This was backed up by a shocked friend of mine who was told that she was drinking cidra, explained to her as "almost like juice" with her Mom and 7 year old host sister. She started to feel light-headed, but thought it was the heat. This friend isn´t much of a drinker, I told her it was alcoholic and she couldn´t believe it, but kids drink it here, like it´s no big deal. Back to the 12-14 year old. A group of at least 8, 7-11 year olds then formed an eager line, all fighting to be first, to take their turn drinking the cidra. They took a walk around the block, and as they were coming around the corner the littlest of the 2 brothers that I know that are ALWAYS selling in the street was downing the last of the cidra with everyone cheering him on. My heart broke. And you wonder how people end up alcoholics in the street. Because they start at freaking 7. That´s why.
I also enjoy the fact, that this friend who sold the kid the cidra very many times has proudly proclaimed she has never dranken alcohol, not one drop of it! No beer, no wine, no liquor! Not one drop! She´s religious, and I know she is proud about this. She then told me about how at Christmas, I would have to come to her house and try her clérico, which is fruit, fruit juice and wine mix. I told her then that I have given up drinking for awhile and I am prefering to be like her and not drink one drop of alcohol. I thought she´d be happy. She just looked at me confused like and said, "But apart from the wine, it´s almost non-alcoholic. It´s clércio, you have drink clérico at Christmas, or it´s just not Christmas!". I asked her if she drank, and she told me "Of course!" So, I guess she was exaggerating when she was talking about the "not one drop". Because I can guarantee the mixture is about half and half with this clérico stuff!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Cows and chickens, and well, when´s the last time you were two feet from a cow? I was less than an hour ago on my almost daily walk to the highway.
That´s all I can think of for now, later!
So, here's the thing. I have not written or kept up with my blog like I did when I first got here. I asked myself, "Why?" Is it because I'm busy?
Yes, that's one reason.
But, there are other reasons. One, it's not that I want to say I am "disenchanted" with Paraguay. Not by any means. But, the odd after time, becomes the norm. The strange and bizarre becomes apart of my daily life. It just is the way it is now, it's not new, it just is.
Secondly, I feel at a certain point, you realize that I could write a thousand posts, of culture, history, customs and traditions, about geography, language and my day to day life, and you, the reader would only be able to get maybe 7% of the feeling of what it is like to actually be here, not only be here, but to really be here. Just be. Here. Not as a tourist, not on vacation, but just living. Day to day life. It's something that can only be grasped by experience. So, I still would like to tell you about so many things, but I can't seem to find the words to explain the vastness of what I want to explain. I find the disconnect when I chat with you on the phone, listening about the normal activities you are participating back in the good 'ole USof A. I know what it means to do them, I've done them, I can relate, but they are all very far away things for me now. But, it's hard to tell you. I went to a Quince (the birthday party for a girl turning 15 years old), I went to a rezo (what takes place when someone dies, for a week after the die, then every 3 months for at least a year, 1-3 years, or if they were very important possibly indefinetley), I went grocery shopping, etc. All these things are different now, look different, and smell different! It's too much to explain, so I find myself just being quiet. Listening to what you all have to say about the US and just telling you I'm fine, I'm happy, which is true.
Sadly, the only time when I'm moved to really get into the culture/life differences is probably when I am frusturated, which is not good! Because I love this country and the people, there are so many good people here, and so many of them have been good to me. They have been great, but just as there is a disconnect between you and me right now, there will always be a slight disconnect between me and the Paraguayans, and that's just it. I will explain this later.
For now, here are a few things that you might like to know. For one, you don't knock on your neighbor's door, or ring the doorbell. You stand out side there gate, which almost everyone has one, like a fence with a gate (whether it be pieces of wood with barbed wire or iron, it's there) and you clap. So, knock knock jokes, don't really translate. There are no leash laws, or anything like that, and there's no dog catcher or spading or neuturing, so there's always a dog around. You get used to how to deal with them. When a dog is approaching you, you make a loud kissing sound at it, and it usually will stop and give you some space. If it does not, and it continues to approach you, or be agressive, pretend you are picking up a rock, most times you don't actually have to throw it to get it to go away, but every once awhile you do! What else, what else, you can't drink cold water with hot soup, and most people don't drink WITH their meal, only after. Oh, you share things here. Just like terere, the communal herbal tea drink I've told you so much about (you drink this everyday, usually twice a day, maybe 3 times when it's hot!), beer/wine you share, too. You buy a liter sized bottle, pour some in a glass and pass this around, each person taking a sip. Kind of like when potheads pass around a joint or something, puff, puff, pass, right? So, none of that personal bottle of beer, here. So, that's weird for us. There's are just of the few daily actions, things, that are different, but there's so much more to it than that.
OK, disconnect with Paraguayans. A story. My friend got a dog, just a regular puppy from some dog who had puppies in her neighborhood. While her family napped in the afternoons she has been training it in her backyard with dog treats she bought in the capitol, Asuncion. She's had if for at least 7 months now. She trained it in English only, she would have liked to done Guarani and Spanish, but too many little kids and even adults would probably try and order it around, therefore undoing her training so she just did English. Dogs serve two purposes and two purposes only in Paraguay. To be cute and bark if there is an intruder. I have never met a trained dog. So, needless to say, Paraguayans are amazed to see a dog that can sit, shake, and lay down on command. This is the conversation that follows:
Paraguayan(P): That's amazing! Did you bring this dog from the States? (The idea being that everything from the States is better quality, even our dogs!)
My friend, Jill (J): No, it's from here.
P: You must have paid a lot of money for him, then.
J: Um, no, I just got him from that Senora Fulana, right down the road, for free.
P: Why is this dog so smart then?
J: Um, I trained him.
P: Here let me try, "E-Seet" (Paraguayan bad pronunciation of "sit" in English)
Dog does nothing.
P: Well, he's not that smart, is he? Ha ha.
Yeah, so there's just a disconnect there.
OK, party at my friends host family's house. An obviously pregnant woman is drinking beer, just drinking away with the other Senoras. My friend asks about whether she knows the dangers of drinking during pregnancy quietley to her host mom. The host mom informs her she drank a little during her first two pregnancies, but during her last one, because the other volunteer that used to live with her always got on her. But, all her children turned out fine. Though in reality one of her children has a learning disability. But, that's just the thing, they don't say "learning disability". They would say, "He's slow." or "He's just stupid". You would have to spend time with him and work with him on his homework, etc to see that, but it's true. The thing is, unless it's a severe physical or mental deformity, it's hard to explain to Paraguayans that the reality of risk exists in the behavior. Because it's true, some women drink a little, and their kids turn out fine, so there's just a disconnect there, it's like you say, "Drinking during pregnancy can cause a, b, and c" and well, they don't really believe you. The reason why her son has a learning disability or "is slow" is attributed to the time there was a thunderstorm and bolt of lighting struck really loud and she got really really scared fast, like it startled her a lot. That is probably what went wrong with the baby. Yes, it's a disconnect.
So, I am sorry if my posts have been lame lately, but there's just too many words to explain it all. I hope when I come visit in June of 08 (can't get here quick enough!) that I can pour you some terere, with my thermos, into my guampa, with the yerba mate and yuyos, and you sip it through the bombilla, we won't have to talk too much. You can just sip, and drink it all in.
Love you all.
Chaucito
So, Hey All, Family, Friends, Random Strangers who read my blog which kind of freaks me out if you are male and over 35... Ja ja... (Seriously, I've gotten some messages, weirdos!) It's been awhile since I've written. Why?
Well, the projects are still going, some flying, some whatever, and I've gotten to this point about the work itself - TRANQUILOPA. I always want things to work out the best they can, of course. I put energy in all my projects, but in the end, I alone can't change what goes in my neighborhood. I've been workign with this group of people who came together because they wanted to start a neighborhood commision to fight to save their plaza. Well, they just kind of stopped coming to the meetings. That happens a lot here, a lot of talk, and very little action. At first they were making what I would say were the "wrong" decisions, wanting to have their meetings at this rich lady's house because it's pretty, and not at the school or church neutral/public territories. They also had this other idea of how to raise money, that without getting into details was "not good" and not going to work... So, I got all stressed out about what if my commission doens't work, and one of our trainers said, "Look, your the facilitator, you can provide the information, warn them why it may or may not work, promote group discussions so hopefully they can figure it all out on their own, without you TELLING them why it's bad, but if they want to continue with that idea, then continue on. If it doesn't work, they will have to come back to the drawing board, and look at other options. If it works, great, it worked! If they don't come back to the drawing board after one failed idea, then it sounds like they dont' really care about their plaza."
That's kind of like been my attitude about everything, I will do what I can do, but in the end, if people want kids camps, want baby classes, want yoga classes, want to organize themselves, they have to show up, too. It's not all on my shoulders to save Campo Verde or something.
And, I've been feeling super good ever since, ja ja. I haven't given up, I just try not to stress out as much anymore. I really have an issue with all that stress!
So.... as far as the title goes for this post, I just wanted to let you friends and family know that, as of now, I am not drinking (alcohol that is) anymore. Possibly, ever. I don't drink hardly ever in my community, and if I do it's like sips of beer (bc you all share the same glass here, you sip and pass) with a family or something, it's more when I get together with other volunteers in groups for birthdays or what not. I talked to the doc here today, I am not an alcoholic, just a bad binge drinker. This is a pattern that of course is encouraged during college and normalized. After college, living at the party beach atmosphere of Wilmington, and being friends with a lot of undergrads didn't help. Then, moving to FL, working some shitty resturant job with a whole bunch of guess who? More undergrads, continued the normalacy of drinking until you don't know when. During my time in the PC when I go out, I've tried to pinpoint it. I don't know which beer it is, number 3 or 6 or what, where I lose control and I drink until the bar is closed, or until good friends pry beer cans out of my hand, or tell me "it's time to go to bed". And sometimes I don't like listening at that point, like I've been told bc I don't remember, I will go get another beer after they tell me to stop, or something. So, basically I've tried to pinpoint where that magic number is and drink only to the point to where I still have my wits about me. But after trying everytime and never figuring it out, I realize, yeah, well, I guess I can't drink. And that's the end of it. I can't handle it.
Maybe later in life after I figure some stuff out I will be able to control it, but for now, for this year or so, I am giving it up. It's not going to be easy, as it as been such a part of my life for so long, it feels like a part of who I am, my identity, and I have to change that now. So, it's going to be hard... but I am super determined to do it. And I have good support system here. I have already quit smoking, so this just feels like a natural progression of valueing me more, etc etc.
To support my decision, I'm getting a tattoo. Fun. Angel wings on my back. Cliche, but they have many signifigances for me. 1) I've always wanted a tattoo. And this is like me saying I'm tired of always wishing I were this way or that way (non-smoker, thinner, with a tattoo) it's like me being like, "I am in control of how I want my life to be, how I want to be," and I want a tattoo, so there. 2) The wings represent I have the power to make myself fly through life, and I am choosing to fly instead of be bogged down with all this other crap 3) Something about trying to be a little closer to heaven (which I am not sure if I believe in, but I am reading the Bible, miraclously). I am so tired of people telling me that homosexuality is condemened in the Bible, while another Christian says that the quote was taking out of context, I realize nobody really knows what any of it all means, you can interpert it all how you want. But, I thought I can't just disagree anymore with something I don't know, so I'm reading it. I knew going to church all the time would affect me, and well, here's the proof, I'm actually trying to read my Bible. CRAZYness. I'll let you all know if I convert to Catholicism, Ja ja. That, wont' happen, promise people.
OK, so I just wanted to let you all know so you can all write me and tell me how proud you are, because, it's fun to hear stuff like that! Ja ja ja... Oh, and ps no worries on the whole, "I am so much more of an elevated person than you because I choose not to drink now," Because damn, if I can handle my booze, then I would drink, but I can't so I am not. But drink away you guys, I don't feel like that at all, and just want to be clear.
Well, I love you all very very much. And I can't wait to see you all in like 7 months. But, know that I am super happy chilling out in Paraguay and doing kid camps, and youth camps, and leadership camps, and yoga, and drinking terere (non-alcoholic tea drink).... LOVE YOU ALL!
~ Lorena
Well, I thought it was time I posted a few new fotos for you, and then I realized, whoops! I left my camera at home. So, I am sitting here in the office, and I am going to borrow fotos from other volunteer's files to show you some of the amazing shots they have taken in and around Paraguay, to many places I haven't found the time to go yet.
All, in all, I just wanted to share with you that things are going well. The director bent to my will, and we are doing the soccer camp for girls MY WAY, my boss came out and chit chatted with my Mom among a few other involved persons in my neighborhood, and now everyone seems really energized to get going and do stuff. My Mom is going to gather some Senoras and we are going to start a Mom's club. I will provide presentations about communication with their teenagers, and how to play with the baby to stimulate brain growth during the early years, ETC. We will have baby days, and teenager days. And if Mom can't find a babysitter (by the way that profession for young girls doesn't really exist, if neighbors need to go somewhere, they just ASK their friends if they can watch their kids, and the favor is expected to be returned when they need it, you don't PAY someone to do it, you just ASK) So, if Moms need someone to watch the kids during our meeting, my sister will read them stories and play with them to help us have a meeting without distraction. And my other sister will do the babies. Fun, easy, exciting.
Going to offer the kids to start a summer youth group if they want. So, I am totally tranquilla in all the projects I am doing, they are all coming along while. Now, just need to secure funding for a summer cultural excursion program, and we are in business!
Also, going to Urguay to the Flippin Beach!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It will so nice to have sand between my toes, and in the water. I love it. It's the one thing I can say I really really miss. Other than my family, friends, and sushi, of course.
Well, enjoy the pictures, hope you are all well.
Ja ja ja, there's nothing terribly exciting to tell you, but maybe I tricked you into starting to read this!
Well, people, your tax dollars are well spent, I told Peace Corps what was up with my home situation, and they put a fistful of cash in my hand and sent me on my merry way. So, sigh of relief I will not be hurting for cash when it comes moving time! That's exciting for me.
The move couldn't come soon enough. I am literally counting the days down on my calendar. I don't want ya'll to think my family is horrible. They are a nice bunch of people. My Mom is just a bit overbearing, and I don't care how long I lived here, I could never get used to someone who is constantly telling you what to do but more irritatingly how to do it.
For example, the other day, I was about to take a shower, but then I received a text message on my phone. I was responding to the text message when my Mom walked by my room and said, "Lauren, if your going to be in your room, will you please open the window instead of using the overhead light to help us save electricity on our bill that is so high each month!" Normally, I keep the window open, but not when I am getting undressed, which I was, in less than 5 seconds, going to do. I could have tried to explain all that to her, but for what.
Later that day, "Lauren, if you're going to sweep your room, you need to move all your furniture and your shoes out, or you might as well not do it at all!" The thing is she only says this to me when she actually SEES me sweeping. What she may or may not know is that I sweep EVERYDAY. Once a week, I move out all my things and sweep really really good, and then mop, too! But, if she doesn't SEE it, it's like I don't do it. So, everytime she happens upon me, and I am sweeping, this is what she says to me.
Less than 5 minutes later, "Permiso! (Excuse me!)" The normal response to this is "Adelante" or "Forward". When someone stands at your door, they ask if they may enter, you give permission by saying "Forward". Normally, but my mother has a habit of saying "Permiso!" as she continues to walk into my room. My response, "Adela... Forget it. Yes, my I help you?"
"I wanted to look at your toilet. Yes! See?! See, here Lauren?! It is dirty here, at the bottem. Like I've told you Lauren, you have to clean your toilet EVERYDAY with bleach, or it will get dirty! I am going to do it right now."
"Whatever." (<---- Internal Response)
The thing is, I was in the process of doing my normal (expected part of the deal of living in the house) weekly clean up from top to bottem of my room. If she had waited a few more minutes, I would have gotten to the bathroom. But, no. Do I bother to tell her, I was just about to.... no. What's the point? And yeah, I refuse to clean my toilet EVERYDAY. Once or twice a week is enough. Really, it's enough.
Then, she said, We are going to eat Watermelon this week. We will all chip in and buy one, and eat it together. Which means, You will be helping to pay for it. (My brother doesn't have a job, my little sisters won't be expected to pay, so that leaves, ah, wait, me!) So, whether I want to spend the extra money or not, the family expects me to "chip in" to help buy one. WTF.
And then, my Mom who wanted to start a neighborhood commision is throwing monkey wrenches in my plans. I want to do a census with the poorer part of the neighborhood, to open up the line of communication and listen to what their wants/needs/concerns are. She wants to organize her friends (other rich people) to start it, forget the census, and get moving already in the cleaning up of the plaza, because she is tired of looking at the filth in the plaza everyday. Those were her direct words, "Because I can't go another day looking at the filth!" Did you hear that? It's what SHE wants. Maybe she has many people in agreement, but it's about HER wants. Not participation of total. I wanted to empower the poorer people give them a voice and forge abound between the neighborhood. She wants to complain about how ignorant they all are, do it themselves and then bitch some more about how lazy they are for not helping. So over it.
So... YES YES YES, I move at the end of next week.
This week I am trying to start my girls soccer club program by inviting the little girls in 4th and 5th grade to attend. But ,first I have to get through the director, who has micro-managed my project to death already. I wanted it to be for 4th and 5th graders. He insists 4th graders are "too small". I have no clue why he thinks that... as children as young as 3 and 4 know how to kick a ball around here. So, I have had to change my ages. This wouldn't be a big deal except we are trying to coordinate with the other volunteer to have a tournament. Her ages are 4th and 5th. So, now I will be bringing 5th and 6th graders to play against 4th and 5th graders, not fair to them.
Then, my director thinks that we should have tournament every practice time I had scheduled instead of actual practices. He thinks I will have soooo many interested parties that I will have to weed them out each week to see who makes the actual team. This is not what I had intended at all. This is much more a) complicated b) stupid. Because then, it's like only the "good" players will be on the team, I wanted a chance for any old little girl to join. He thinks I will have 100 little girls wanting to play. I think very few will have enough interest to join, and less will be allowed to attend 6 practices followed by the best of 2 out of 3 games. Probably, just enough to fill a healthy team. But, he thinks I should hold a tournament every week. If I hold a tournament every week for practice, I need to have a referee everyweek, because I certainly don't know how to regulate. Then, I have my own girls playing AGAINST each other? I just wanted one solified team. And I wanted the chubby little girls, or the two left feet little girls to have a chance to play in a real game, too. Now, the only ones playing in the final tournament will be the ones that are already fast, and practice with their brothers. Damn it. After not seeing eye to eye in how to implement it for about 15 minutes, he suggested I try the other school. He says I cant' bring food for 10 people, when he has 100 mouths to feed. (He did the same thing with the camp, saying that I was going to have 400 kids show up, sure we had 180, but not 400, and that was from all grades combined!! I will certainly not have 100 little girls from 2 grades!). When we talk about funding, he always says, "Sure, go ask your organization for the money...." I never ask the school for money, I ask local factories, and bigger businesses, but he thinks we are made of money. The thing is PC already puts the volunteers in the field, it doesn't "fund" our projects. We are about sustainablility people. Looking internally to solve problems, and fund things. That way, when we go away, everything doesn't just fall apart without our cashflow. A lot of people just see PCV's as walking cash cows for their projects and are turned off to find out, WE DON"T FUND THINGS. We do have grants we can apply for depending on the project, but even in this scenerio we have to come up with 30% of the funding from the community (like to build a library or something).
So, basically, I told him if he finds other people to help with the tournaments, fine, you win, we'll do it your way. He does that, he likes to micromange to remind me that it's HIS school, and HE makes the final decisions. You can tell he's a total chauvinist bastard who just loves making me squirm and bend to his word. Because in the end, if I don't... the little girls get no soccer at all.
Though, I've actually thought of Plan B, if he tells me there isn't support. Just using the other field in town, the less pretty one, and just putting up flyers and inviting the girls through word of mouth, the other school (which doesn't have enough girls to fill a team or would just do it with them) and then at church or something. And be like, yeah, screw you, chavinist jerk. I squirm no more!
But, I will find out what he says Monday, when I get back..... I am going to Guayabi to visit a volunteer for her birthday. I am excited to see where she lives (I'm told it's real real rural). I hope at least, it's pretty even if I do have to use a letrine for the next 2 days. Ja ja. Us Urban Youthers are soo spoiled.
Well, wish me luck (with the director and using the letrine!)
Chau!
OK, so first of all...
I am in a club (or initiative if you want to be fancy) called GAD (Gender And Development). We try to work gender themes into work, no matter what we are doing. For example, not holding a meeting time when either the men or women can't come based on traditional work schedules. For example afternoon is easier for the women, who have cooked the main meal of the day already (lunch) and done most of the basic housework already. But, men who are in the field ALL day need special consideration. If you have to, have separate meetings to ensure that ALL participate. ETC.
So.. we are working on a scholarship fund designed to help young women attend highschool, technical training schools and University. Here is so information about it, and if you want to donate, you can follow the link found at the very bottem of this message.
Will you help young Paraguayan women pursue higher education?
*Your donation makes this Peace Corps Partnership scholarship program possible.
***PAFT is a scholarship program run by Peace Corps Paraguay PATF Committee, and two Paraguayan Institutions- La Secretaria De Mujer and Union Profesional Empresarios Jovenes-UPEJ.
It provides young Paraguayan women ages 15-30 funds & leadership training to pursue their education and increase their ability to achieve financially independent and fulfilling lives.
But lets talk SUSTAINABILITY...This project is a Partnership Program---that means 30% of funds do come from outside resources like RPCVs and friends and family of Peace Corps Volunteers, while over 60% of all costs in the form of resources and labor are fulfilled by the two Paraguayan co-partner institutions of the program: UPEJ (Union de Profesionales y Empresarios Jóvenes) and La Secretaria de la Mujer.
Along with an economic award and a higher level of education, each winner is required to attend two leadership workshops where they increase their knowledge of: employability, responsible citizenship, opening cooperatives and budgeting, creating and implementing small-scale community projects, networking with other ONGs and becoming community leaders for their department.
***Please support this essential program with your donation today.
To donate go here: Go to the Peace Corps Website—www.peacecorps.gov
1. Click on "Contribute to this Project"
2. Search the list for "Paraguay, Scholarship for Women"
3. Insert the amount to be donated $$$
4. Go to the bottom of the page and hit "Continue"
5. Insert appropriate information and then continue on to "Insert Credit Card Information"
Contributions of all levels are welcome.
A donation of $100 provides a young Paraguayan with the funds to continue her high-school education, $150 funds professionally focused training and a donation of $500 will sponsor a year of study at the University level.
Thank you for your support with this program!!!
For more information contact:
PAFT COMMITTEE
Julie Silvernail Evangeline Kim
GAD Coordinator Peace Corps PAFT Rep.
Jsilvernail@peacecorps.py.gov evan77sk@yahoo.com
Education is essential to breaking the cycle of poverty. This scholarship program provides essential funding and training to young women who have demonstrated a history of service to their community, exceptional academic potential and financial need. By providing young women leaders with the resources to continue their education, the scholarship program is ultimately helping young women and their families break the cycle of poverty and create economic and social options.
The average Paraguayan has only had the opportunity to reach the ninth grade. Too often, young women leave school earlier than their male counterparts. In urban areas, 21% of males and 11% of females are qualified to enter university and males typically receive more job offers and greater educational and professional benefits. Paraguayans, particularly young women, often lack the financial resources necessary to pursue education at the high school, vocational and university level. Therefore, we would like to help make equity more of a reality and give these young women more opportunities for their futures.
https://www.peacecorps.gov/resources/donors/contribute/regioncontrib.cfm?region=latinamerica&
OKAY... Razoo now... Razoo is a new site it looks like, trying to link groups and information together. Basically, I know for me that after exiting college, it was hard to find out what was going on in my community as far as like-minded people who enjoy volunteering and service. No matter what you are into, animal rights, environmental rights, human rights ETC, you can search to find out what's going on in YOUR community (be it the international community or your own backyard). So, I think it's pretty cool!
ENJOY!
On the Homefront: Yay! At the end of this month I will be moving. Some of you may know, others not, that I've been having "Curfew" issues with my current family. Basically he's the long and short of it, When I moved in they told me that they were a family unit, and they don't like their children coming home late. It's somewhat dangerous to be out late by yourself, and I hardly ever "go out", and if I do, I usually stay in Asuncion or I visting another volunteer somewhere else. But, one night, I went to a youth group meeting that ran late. This particular youth group meeting always runs late, as it is a meeting of only the most active members (Coordinator, Secretary and other active members) on Friday nights. 2 of the kids work at a radio station until 9 pm. By the time they get to Sally's house where the meetings are held, it's 9:30 pm. Sally and her husband sell hamburgers from a stand in their front patio, soda, beer, etc. They also bring out a small TV and set up table and chairs. So normally, we sit around, maybe we'll buy something to eat, a soda, and talk about what the club is up to. This particular meeting I had to be there, as I was working with them and the local Red Cross to plan a Children's Day event. I waited for David (my neighbor) so we could walk home together (as opposed to alone). I arrived home at 11 pm. My Mom straight up yelled at me about. I had told her BEFORE I left I would be late, due to the radio, meeting ETC. She told me I was not allowed to go the meetings anymore, yes allowed. I told her if it's work related I have to be present, it's my job.
So, time went by, there was not another issue, until recently a friend came to visit me in my site of Capiata. There was also a fair in the center of my town, and Red Cross had a tent that I was helping to man, to pass out information and try to drum up new volunteers. Rachel (my friend and I) came home on this Friday night at midnite. But, I did not come home alone, so I didn't think it was a big deal. The next day my mother was so angry she was shaking when I went to greet her, but she did not yell, because thankfully we had company.
What gets me about the whole situation is that, I pay to fricking live there, you know? But here's the deal with that. Peace Corps has certain minimum regulations necessary for Security Precautions. One of the rules is bars on the windows. My house had no bars. My boss came to inspect my house, and suggested to my mother (who didn't want to charge me rent) that in I could pay monthly to put bars on the house, window by window, month by month. In front of my mother she said this, without talking to me first.
So then, my family suggested that they go ahead and do the whole house, because it's a better deal that way. (It's true, they'd pay almost double doing month by month instead of all at once). They said they don't expect me to pay for it all, about 1/3 would be good. That would put me at living with them for 6 months. But, I can't live with them any longer. Between, treating me like a child (as in expected to share the housely chores, curfew etc) yet paying a rather high price (I pay more than most) it's just not working out. There is no bad blood between me and the family, we are all good, I think they are crazy, but I don't not like them, and probably the same goes for me.... They are just very closed off from the community. Their house is probably the nicest on the block. My youth aren't allowed to come in, I have to talk them on the other side of the fence. This does not help me get into the community. So, it's time to go, but I still have techinically 2 months of payments to make.
Peace Corps normally pays for basic minimum security housing issues (like bars), but it's always better if it CAN be turned into rent. So, I am petitioning to Peace Corps to pay for my last month, or 2 would be better, but it's steep. So, I pray I don't get rejected and have to pay the cost out of pocket, because, really it was presented to my family before I could discuss with anyone, or work something out. My boss just said it, and then it was like, OK, without consulting me. So I think it's only fair, considering they normally pay for bars. We'll see.
Whew.
As far as work: I have been giving 5 presentations a week in the School Campo Verde to the 7th, 8th and 9th grade classes. Working on a community to organize a 2 day leadership camp, hope to do more children's camps in my neighborhood with support from local youth, Pairing up with another volunteer to do a 5 day, 2 hours a day day camp for the children of the small free school. Working on a Summer of Culture program for middle and highschoolers, we are raising money to be able to pay for the bus fares and entrances to take 5 students from each site in Department Central to one cultural location a month (an art gallery in the famous artist spot of Aregua, then we're not sure, muesums, dance theaters, acting place, music). If you think our art and music programs are suffering in the States, HA! There is so little contact with culture, with free thought, with art, culture!! At the end of the program we will challenge the youth in a leadership workshop to come up with ways to bring culture back to their communities (start a drama troupe, teach children's art classes, organize a highschool gallery etc). Starting a reading club with kids. It's really sad, many kids don't really know how to read read. They know what word looks like, and have memorized the words to read, but don't know how to sound-out words and read phonetically. I see this in a few (not many but a few) of my highschool English students when I ask them to sound a word in English and they just, they just can't, they don't know how. We will read a book, and then maybe do an activity based on the book. Like, read a book about the importance of trees, then sing a song, do an art project or play a game that goes along with the theme of the day. Talking with the hospital Educator to pair up to give classes on how to interact with your baby to get them to develop cognitevely more. Like playing with a mirror (pointing to the baby's mouth and saying "mouth" ETC ETC) there's thousands of things you can do. Working with a different youth group, a newly formed church group to help them get started organizing their first few events and get them up and rolling on the right path by doing some leadership training workshops with them. Trying do similiar leadership training and more specefically AIDS training with volunteers from Red Cross. Oh yeah, doing a census of the neighborhood working with some teachers of the free school and that church youth group do get it done. Starting with the poor part first, hope to do ALL of campo verde in I don't know a year or soo..... This is the first step to identifying our community resources and needs in the formation of a neighborhood commission. Ummm.... I think that's it.....Of course, I still have my weekly radio show....Whew.
Vacation in January, Beaches of Urguay. 11 days. Which will hopefully give us over 7 days to just chill out.
Much love to everyone! Love, Lorena
I hope if you guys click and link to this video you are able to watch it. If so this is just the first instalment of many short video clips about everything Paraguayan. We will have a terere tea session, a "this is my room" session, "this is my street" etc. So let me know.
Let me set this up for you. I had taken a few pictures of my Mom and her sister's drinking on her birthday. All 3 sisters aren't very often together like that, so they were really, um, having a good time together. They all grew up in the countryside and migrated their way into better lives in the city, they all have big families of at least 5 kids each, etc.
So, I had taken a few pictures already, and said, Okay, let's take just one more!
So, then, I started recording.... he he he (ja ja ja in Spanish). So, basically, my Mom thinks she's posing for a picture, when I say, Estoy grabando, that means, I'm recording, and that's when they all die laughing because they realize I'm not taken a picture I just recorded everything.
Well, with that set up, I sure hope it works. Youtube didn't work for me here, neither some other video download site so this is a link through photobucket. Good luck!
Love,
Lorena
http://s132.photobucket.com/albums/q27/paraguay_2007/?action=view¤t=DSCN1559.flv
