Posts (page 2)
This was written by a friend of mine who went on my vacation with me, She wrote about our experience, and seeing as how she had already written in all up and everything, I am just republishing in my blog....ahh, vacation. Even volunteers need vacation every once in awhile. As a peace corps volunteer I acrew 2 vacation days a month. That´s 24 days a year you are thinking, "that is more than i get and I have a real job" But it´s not as many as it sounds. We don´t get weekends as peace corps volunteers, we can´t leave our communities even on sat and sun, and often times most of our work is on the weekends since that´s when people can meet. (doesn´t mean we don´t sneak a few days here and there to save our sanity) Well other than my few days here and there in Asuncion, the capital and visits to other volunteer´s sites my sanity was telling me that I could really use a "real" vacation. So, I counted up my vacation days and decided to take 13 days to leave the country. I filled out my vacation request form, submitted it to Peace Corps, dusted off my South American travel book, got 3 other volunteers on board and started planning "Big Mama goes to the Beach" (The name we gave our vacation. Loren and Rosana-both urban youth volunteers that arrived the same time I did and my gf, Sarah a beekeeping volunteer who lives close to me decided to go to Buenos Aires (BA for short) and Uruguay.
We took an 18 hour bus ride from Asuncion to BA. We were more excited than 4 little girls on their way to Disneyland. We made a rule that we were not allowed to talk about anything related to our Paraguayan Peace Corps lives. We weren´t allowed to discuss sad situations we were dealing with or complain about work stuff. It didn´t take but a couple hours to realize we didn´t have a whole lot to talk about with that rule. Our lives before Peace Corps kind of seem so distant now that it´s hard to keep a conversation going involving things only from more than a year ago or only talking about the future. So we accepted who we are now, people who talk about Paraguay and changed the rule to only being able to talk about happy things about our service.
We arrived in Buenos Aires and immediately recognized why Argentina is a developed country and Paraguay is not. We rode nice, clean buses that had handicap access and didn´t break down all the time. Every street was paved, i had forgotten what that looked like! We were so content to eat in restaurants and shop in cute stores, see book stores and book stands everywhere because people actually read and could see all the culture and museums and parks and people with healthy, fat dogs being walked on leashes! Then somebody said "hey you guys...it´s been 2 hours we´ve been walking around I am not sweating and my feet are still clean" For about 2 hours all we did was talk about these differences and then we were adjusted and started to forget what it was like in Paraguay....we were in vacation mode.
We stayed 2 days and 2 nights in BA and did a whirlwind tour of the city. We saw tango shows in the streets, drank wine and ate cheese in the parks, visited the famous Recoletta cemetary and saw Evita´s tomb, went to ourdoor markets, saw the famous plazas and congress buildings and enjoyed good food. Buenos Aires is known to be the "Paris of South America" and it really is. I enjoyed it more than i enjoyed Madrid, Spain.
On day 3 we took a ferry from BA to Uruguay. This trip only takes an hour if you are on a fast boat but our ferry was more of a mini cruise, complete with cafeteria, bar, and a Latin dance show. We enjoyed this very much and became very excited about being on the water and so close to our beach part of the vacation. When we arrived in Uruguay, we spent a few hours tootling around the quaint town of Colonia which is kind of known for being a cute, little town Argentinian couples for for a weekend gettaway. Then we took a bus to the capital, Montevideo. We spent 2 days in Montevideo, walking around the city, sitting at the rocky coastline, and once again eating good food. Our favorite was the mozzarella pizza in Uruguay because it was much more like real pizza than the Pizza in Paraguay.
On day 5 we traveled by bus to Punta del Este, the most famous tourist spot in Uruguay and becoming one of the most famous tourist spots in South America. Many Hollywood movie stars have homes there and now i know why. It is a small penninsula filled with designer stores, expensive restaurants, nice beaches and a nightlife that has a great reputation. This isn´t excatly my scene but we wanted to at least see what this place was all about. Everything was out of our price range and when Sarah didn´t even get served right away at the McDonald´s because she was undressed we realized we weren´t in our kind of place. I had heard the surf was supposed to be really good and even that didn´t seem to be as great as i hoped. There was a lot of onshore winds and whitecaps so the surf was blown out. I rented a board anyway and they gave me a free wetsuit to use. I thought "hey great, a free wetsuit" but when i put it on i realized why it was free. THe entire back part of it was torn open, exposing most of my back. I decided it was still better than nothing and wore it anyway in front of some of the richest people on the continent. I surfed for a few hours then laid on the beach for another 9 hours. even though my friends were telling me i should not stay out so long i couldn´t help it. this was what i missed most and what relaxed me the most....laying on sand, hearing the waves, feeling the ocean breeze. What i wasn´t thinking about was the effect of the sun. "I´m Paraguayan now, i get worse exposure in Paraguay, i can take this" I was wrong. On the first day in Punta del Este I got a bad case of sun poisening.
I had sun poisening once before, when i was in France. That time it lasted only a day or so. Apparently the 2nd time you get it, it´s a lot worse. I was in bed for 4 days after that with a 102 fever, vomiting,chills, exhaustion, diahrehea, and of course a lot of sun blisters. Stupid me. The good news is that I didn´t really miss much, i saw Punta del Este on my first day and didn´t miss hanging out with the rich kids in our hostel, hearing about how they had been traveling around the world for the past 4 months on mom and dad´s money or how they graduated college 3 months ago and looking for a job was such hard work that they´re parents agreed they "needed a break." (these are real stories that my friends got to hear) But when people asked what we they were doing, they enjoyed saying "we´ve been living in Paraguay doing development work for the past year" My friends spent more time on the beach and took good care of me. They say it´s good to travel with someone you´re dating to see if you can stand each other, and we discovered we could stand each other and I realized what a great nurse she is and that she doesn´t even get grossed out hearing me talk about my diahrehea nonstop and doesn´t mind me vomiting in her presence. :) I fully recovered and they said i looked better than all of them with my new tan and my amazing stomach after loosing 10 pounds and my crash diet. Rosana our mexican american friend kept saying "i want sun poisening so i can loose weight but i won´t get it, i´ll just turn black"
On day 8 we left the ritzy life of Punta for a more relaxing, mellow, normal person beach town called La Paloma in Costa Azul. We rented a beach house for 3 nights and immediately decided we should have rented it for a week instead because it was perfect. There were two rooms, a kitchen to cook in, a nice living room area with cable TV, a yard with equipment to barbeque and it was one block from the beach. I felt well enought to play in the water some more before we left but the surf was still bad.
ON day 11 we traveled back to Buenos Aires on a fast boat that only took an hour, but there were no Latin dancers. WE stayed two more nights in Buenos Aires before taking a 22 hour bus ride back to Paraguay on day 13. It should have been 18 hours but we spent 4 hours at the border waiting to cross. The waiting gave us a good opportunity to get back into the habit of the slow pace of life in Paraguay.
Uruguay was more similar to Paraguay than Argentina but it was still much more developed. Before vacation Paraguay seemed to me to be very isolated and after this vacation i have realized how isolated it is. There are no natural resources here I am sure that has a lot to do with it´s lagging behind. The countrysides of Urguay and Argentina are still very vast and open but the land just seemed richer. The crops looked better, there were plantations of trees and evidence of real farm equipment like tractors and irrigation systems. Roads were better, there were street signs, there was not nearly as much poverty. As depressing as it was to see all of this and realize how bad off Paraguay really is, it was refreshing to see that Paraguay´s neighbors are doing better and that hopefully this is influencing them in a positive way. Paraguay has been through a lot and had a rough history, development is slow and i have faith one day it won´t be so isolated. And maybe one day a traveler will want to take a bus to Paraguay from Buenos Aires to see what an interesting place it is.
I am happy to be back in site, and I do feel refreshed and re-motivated for another year of service.Paraguayans have a much different culture and blunt way of saying things so people keep telling me how skinny i am now (actually I just weigh what i used to weigh before eating all their fatty fried food) and my host mom even went so far as to say i looked like i was pregnant before so i must have had my baby and left it in Uruguay! Haha, that´s a compliment and i´ve been here long enough to recognize it as one! I have only put a dent in my vacation days and although i´m glad to be where I am I already can´t wait to plan my next vacation. This week marks excatly one year in country for me. I arrived on Feb 8th of last year. This doesn´t mean i am excatly half way done though. Our 3 months of training doesn´t count in our 2 years of service so I will actually be halfway through service at the end of April. Then the 12 month countdown will begin and I am told it goes fast!
Although I used my vacation time to travel in South America instead of flying home, i do feel a little more connected with the 1st world again. The American girls we met in hostels gave us updates on what celebrity broke up with who and informed us Heath Leger died, what kind of Ipod is out now, what movies are playing, etc. It was entertaining and fun to get our heads out of the 3rd world for awhile. I find myself enjoying that kind of news more than i ever have in my life. It keeps me balanced i think. So keep me updated on what´s going on in the 2008 elections, who is turning up dead and being found by the maid, what diet is popular and keep reading my blog to hear about my next adventure or day to day life!
Jajotopata! (we shall find each other)
Hi everyone!
So, I believe its been awhile since my last update. Quick synopsis of what I've been up to. After returning from vacation, I returned to my girls soccer practices, though after the 2 week hiatus, I lost a lot of the girls, and it was really just a chance for little girls to play around. The kids asked if we were going to do another tournament, but a lot of work went into organizing the two ones we already did, and quite honestly, I was planning on the program ending after the second tournament. Before I left we had a little party, where I handed out certificates and thanked everyone for the participation, but when I got back a few of the girls asked if we were going to keep playing. I couldn't say no, say we kept at it, but only 1/4 of the girls were showing up, so I officially annonced it's over now. Which is what I wanted in the first place. I am starting a 3 day day camp tomorrow so I don't really have time anyways!
The school year is approaching, so I am working on getting my schedule together, I have to write up a lesson plan guide thing for the Director to read of the themes I will be presenting. I need to figure out my schedule, so I can tell the mayor, because he wants me to teach a once a week class of English for the municipality. I don't really want to do it, but at the sametime, I am working with the Senoras/Mom's Club and we are trying to get the Muni to clean this dirty overgrown weed trashpit area. They said they will come clean it, as long is there is an organized group of citizens who are willing to mantain it. Unfortunatley, the truth of the matter is our Mom's club is really just a group of neighbors who sometimes show up for meetings and activitities. Every week only 3 to 4 different women show up, 2 of them are always them, and the other 2 rotate. Some women were only coming for the free yoga class I offered after the meetings, when I switched the yoga days, they stopped coming to the meetings. When I switched the location, they stopped coming to the yoga! Ha, ha... sooooo.... Our new plan is to offer new incentives to join, we are going to announce in the church, the school, in my classrooms, and by way of flyers, what the Mom's club is, and what the benefits of joining are. What you will get: Presentations on everything from good communication to Detergent Making, Women's Health and Family Planning in the form of bi-montly meetings, you can bring your children to the meetings because they will receive games, a snack and storytime (books are rare here), your children will get FREE english lessons on a bi-montly basis as well, and free Yoga classes every week. To join, you have to officially sign up, instead of just casually show up for the meetings. We help this will help form a more organized group instead of just a couple of neighbors sitting around... but we will see.....
Other than that, like I said I am starting a camp about environmental education for children tomorrow. I will be returning to the radio in March..... AND.... still working with Red Cross like always, starting to do a few more things with the Christian youth group on a purely organizational level.
Most exciting thing that is going on right now is that I am getting a trainee visit this weekend. I was a trainee during my first 3 months here in PY. That's how it is, you arrive and you go through training for 3 months. During training you get two visits, a short 3 day visit and longer week long visit to stay with real, live volunteers. The short visit is just to give you a break from the long rigorious hours of training and get you to see a slice of volunteer life that will hopefully help you make a more informed choice on whether this is what you really want to do with the next 2 years of your life. The longer visit has a few more expectations including actually working with the volunteers to give the presentations and other projects they may be working on (radio, etc). So, I am getting a new little trainee!! They have only been in the country 2 weeks, there is so much they don't know! Ha, ha!! His name is Nathan and I know nothing else. But, it should be fun to have him, and I plan to let him pick to do whatever it is he wants to do! Training is hard so I want to have a break, whether that means sleep, cook his favorite meal, go out to eat in Asuncion, grab a beer, whatever it may be... we are doing what he wants. Fun, fun.
So..... I feel crazy as always, like the to do list never stops.... sidenote, I've been jogging a lot lately, I am up to 20 minutes.... my goal is to run 4 times each week, for example: Mon, 20 Tue, 20, Thur, 20, and then Sat, shoot for 40 minutes, and then next week 25, 25, 25, then shoot for 50. etc etc. There is a Marothn in Buenos Aires in November. I don't think I am Marathon material, but half marathon? I have 8 months to practice, so I am going to get serious about not letting work crowd in on my running schedule, I have a tendency to let whatever work thing it may be (last minute red cross meeting for example) get in the way of my exsercise schedule... or when I am in the middle of the run, I run into someone that wants to chat, and invites me into their yard to drink terere (communal tea drink), I have learned to just say NO!!! I am in the middle of my run, thank you! This country just kind of make you feel guilty all the time, even to say, um, sorry I am kind of in the middle of exsercising I can not sit down with you right now. I think it's a Catholic affect.
I will wrap it up for now.
Looking forward to my Bday, going to throw a big barbeque party at my house to say thanks to all the nice people I've met around here.... Much love!
Talk later!
~ Lorena
Well, Vacay started off great, and it is still nice, just well, I will get there. By the way I am not using any contractions in this because I can not find the apostrophe key, ha ha ha.
So, Buenos Aires was great. It was great to be back, I knew my way around, from having been there before, so it was nice. We started with a picnic of mozzeralla cheese, cheese with oregeno spice, cherries, grapes, and strawberries and a bottle of wine in the Recoletta Cementary park. The weather was perfect, sun with a bit of a breeze, and crispy enough air to not sweat a drop! We have all commented on how little we have sweat on this trip, normally you are dripping from the humitiy in PY by 9 am if not earlier, and the climate is just different here, we do not know if it is the ocean or what that causes the stark contrast in humidity, but no importa! We are just happy to not be sweating. We All those foods by the way are things you either a) can not find in PY b) are ridiculous expensive in PY c) exist, but just are not that good (grapes and wine), are sweet, or quality. So, it was amazing. Later that night, we made our way over to an Italian restaurant. The next day we squeezed in La Boca, the market at, and Recoletta cementary again (we had not actaully made the park in time the day before to actually go in!) Plaza de Mayo, and Congresso (big old buildings) and the Pink House (like the White house), fed pigeons, another dinner out, and bed. Long day, but we fit so much in! It was great.
Next day, we headed off to Colonia, by boat. The ferry ride is gorgeous, its this HUGE boat, full with snack bars, carpet, duty free store (where I bought some perfume, I have not worn perfume for a year, and I got myself a little something!) we rented bikes for the day and rode around the penninsula along the coast, gorgeous! From there we made our way to Montevideo. We stayed in a hostel there, and pretty much just checked out the old downtown part of the city and walked along the coast. Montevideo used to be a fortress that had an enclosed wall surrounding it. There are still parts of the wall that stand up around the older part of the city. We were not there that long, but I could have lived without seeing it, but now I have been, so yeah... that is that.
We made our way on to Punta del Este, a trendy beach known for surfing and the rich people hang out, rich tourists from Buenos Aires and all over the world. This is where the vacation is just odd. OK, so there is a word in spanish, chu-chi. It means fancy it describes in fancy thing, a chu-chi house, a chu-chi club (discoteca) a chu-chi store, a chu-chi person. We are in the lions den of the chu-chi here. I swear, I have never been anywear this chu-chi in all my life, and we are feeling very out of place, and thinking how very close we are to are Paraguayan friends who make less in a year than some of this people throw down in a day. I mean, Key West has money, for sure, but Key West rich people are the relaxed kind that can sit up a the bar and carry on a conversation with anyone. But, here, I mean there are real Luis Vitton stores, Gucci, Polo, etc. Sure, I have been places that have these stores, but not in quanitity of rich people ALL around me. The hostel we are staying in, for $20 a night is insane. It feels like some sort of international, rich frat house. All the kids here are in their young 20s primarlily and are from all over the world. You can hear conversations going on like this, "Yeah, I spent last summer in Thailand, and that was cool. So, I have been to Europe, Japan, Thailand, and now all over South America, so I think I am going to hang out in Africa for awhile next spring". Like, really? These kids hang around in the coffee-tv room in their Von Dutch, their Eddy Harley, their Ecko, their polo shorts and popped collar shirts. Its incredible. Its unsettling.
They had fireworks last night, I ran outside to see them. Its been so long since I have seen fireworks and these fireworks do not exist in PY. When I say they shoot fireworks for christmas its like little bottelrockets and stuff, not the professional kind. The majority of the kids in the hostel were too busy hooting and hollering about happy hour just starting to even be bothered with checking out the fireworks. I just thought about how many kids in PY have never seen, and will never see fireworks like that. I will never look at fireworks the same way again. Then, this morning I realized there was a toaster for the bread here at breakfast. I had kind of forgotten that toasters existed! I do not know anyone who has one in PY, its a little chu-chi to have a toaster. I could have been toasting my bread!! I just looked at these jet-setting kids and wondered, have the ever marveled at a toaster? I doubt it. You cant blame them, they just dont know, they may change later, they may never change. But, its just very strange to be in this world, my little Paraguayan world, that doesnt resemble this place in the slightest is only a 24 hour bus trip away. A day away, but a world away. And it makes me so sad. And I dont even think I will tell Paraguayans that I even came here. I just feel weird about it.
So, I will be happy to move North tomorrow to a more tranquilo, less fashion beach, and enjoy the last 3 days of vacay without all the young rich around me.
Pictures soon, my friend forgot her cable, LAME, so later when I get back!
Thanks for all the love and support! Love you all!
Just if you are curious how your favorite PeaceCorps volunteer is (I am probably the only one you know, unless your really cool!) Been keeping busy after the holidays. Have a Mom's club, we meet every Wednesday and I do a charla (read presentation) on anything... last week my friend Teo came out and taught the ladies how to make their own detergent... they can either sell it, or use it in their house and it is less than continually buying little detergents at the grocery store, because you make it in bulk. This week I will do a charla on good communication with your teenager. Trying to wrap up my girls soccer program, but after a 2 months of practicing, the team is just finally coming together, and looks like I might have to continue it! Basically, I started off with 7 little girls, we dropped to 5, then 4, now we are back up to 8 or 9 solid players, and now other the people in the neighborhood are just starting to ask me about it! Where were you 2 months ago?
Basically, before school let out, I sent home a letter to the parents and a permission slip asking if they were interested in signing their little girl up. I spent almost 50 mil on photocopies and passed out around 100. I got 8 returned to me. I've learned a lot this summer, about how things really work around here. And permission slips are just not understood or done. What it took to form my team, was going by and talking to each parent individually, and then going by their house everyday to actually make sure the girl was coming, after a few days of going to get her, she would start coming on her own as it became a routine. Sadly, I lost a girl because her Dad is totally machista, and got mad that I did not ask HIS permission instead of the mother's. But it was the Mom that came to the door the first day I went to ask permission for her to play with us (I'm sure he sent her to the door!) so I just asked her, normally the fathers don't have much to do with what their kids do or don't do, because they a) don't care or b) are working.So, when I went to go get the girl the second day, the Mom told me she was sick and couldn't play. I felt like the situation was funny, but the Mom is always a bit nervous looking, so I didn't think too too much of it. Turns out the Mom made up that lie, just to get me to go away. The wife had gotten in "trouble" for allowing her to practice without passing through him first. I did not know any of this until the day of our tournament, when the little girl came up to me when I was with all the other girls and asked why I didn't ask her Dad if she could go to, why didn't I go to her house. I told her I did, and her Mom told me she was sick, and was going to rest yesterday, and was not going to be able to make it to the tournment. She said, "But I wasn't sick!" and that's when the other Mom I was with shook her head, as we were walking away and said the wife had told her he had gotten angry with her for not asking his permission... etc etc. What a shame!
Finished out tournament in Limpio, against my friend Rosana's team. We won, but just barely! 4 Moms came with us for the bus trip, so that was SUPER helpful, I could not have hauled 9 little girls on a bus reasonbly without them. We will have a little party tomorrow with juice and cake and I will give all the girls their certificates for participating. But, the Moms all really enjoyed the tournament and watching their girls play, and now want to continue. I was hoping to wrap this project up, but we'll see. Either way, my vacay is coming up so I will have to take a break from ALL my projects.
Other than that, I've been working with Red Cross youth chapter to help organize their year a bit better this year. Also talking to the coordinator about opening up the budget a bit more, sharing more info with the participants. We live in one of the top 5 most corrupt countries in the world. So, it's SUPER important to be open and transparent with the budget so people have trust in what you're doing. I know the coordinator isn't stealing at all from the budget, but he gets lump sums of funds from Red Cross, and then this 18 year old coordinator is in charge of deciding how to use it... so you know they have a big barbeque, go on camping trips, um, what else, oh? Buy materials for projects, yeah, that, too.... I'm not saying their is anything wrong with the "intergration" activities, but if you're going to go on a 2 day camp, it should include an AIDS workshop, or First Aid info, and the camping stuff. Also, as it is now, it's just this 1 kid that decides how to use it, not open to everyone. If he keeps throwing parties, no one complains, but it isn't how it should be going... so we have been working slowly, slowly to him realizing that he needs to let go some of the reigns of power he has on the group. Plus, he's getting tired! He's the President, Vice-President, Treasurere and Secretary all in one! Plus, he knows he needs to start planning for his personal future of either college or work, and to do that, he has to cut back on his involvement in Red Cross, but he's scared it will all fall apart without him, so we are looking for new leadership. It's sounds crazy, but I can't just walk in and tell him that the he is doing everything all wrong, when he's been running everything for 2 years the same way, in then all of a sudden a gringa walks in and tells him to change everything. So, we are working slowly but surely at getting the group in a better working order... slowly slowly. And I'm totally framing it in the "you work too hard" and "you need to live your life, too" way, not the "you are a corrupt power monger" way, because you can't blame the kid, you learn by example, and well, everything in Paraguay is run just like he's running it.
The corruption is overwhelming sometimes on so many levels. Checks and balances? Forget about it. Our government is flawed in serveral 1000 ways, but even on a bad day we run a thousand times better than this one. This one that can't even provide enough schools for the amount of children, that has a hot spot of drug/guns and god knows what else trade in the eastern tip of the 3 Frontiers, where a few get rich while thousands are poor. How cops have nice cars even though their salary is almost nothing.... A woman the other day on the bus was trying to get off, but the bus driver starting driving already, he had been driving like a maniac, barely slowing down to let people off. When he jerked to go again, her flower pot rolled and broke all to pieces. Who does she complain to about that? The bus company? HA! There is no 1-800-How's my Driving number to call, and frankly, nobody cares! The consumers care, but it doesn't matter. If you don't have a car, you have to use a bus, so it doens't matter if you are happy or not, you will keep taking the bus if it takes you where you need to go. Period. Why should they go out of their way for you? Luckily, most bus drivers are relatively nice people, and many have been actually helpful, but it just the luck of the draw.
I bought a can opener the other day that doesn't work. That's right. Not even an electric one. Just a regular, old turn wheel can opener. It has the handle to turn, the wheels to open, but when you actually put it on top of the can, something about the spacing of the wheels isn't right, and it doesn't spin and open the can. It simply doesn't work. The handle doesn't connect to anything, it doesn't actually turn the wheels. Incredible! So, basically, that means, there is a factory making these things, who then is selling them to the Supermarket Spain chain (the name of the Supermarket where I bought the object) who is then turning around and selling me the scam of the looks like a can opener but doesn't actually work. I went back to the supermarket and picked up the can opener looking object again to see if it was just mine that was faulty. Nope. They are all like that. I told the girl at the counter, who just shrugged her shoulders. Whatever. There is absolutley no consumer rights here. If you are stupid enough to buy something that breaks in two days or doesn't work, then that's your problem, buddy, is pretty much the issue. It's crazy.
I still love Paraguay, but for that reason, it makes me even more mad, because Paraguay could be so much more. How do you stop corruption if it doesn't come from the top down? Will all the youth I'm helping even make a difference, or get tired of this place and just leave, like so many thousands of other Paraguayans? I don't know. I wonder.
VACAY COUNTDOWN: 4 DAYS
So, I spent my New Year's Eve, unlike any other New Year's Eve. I spent it at home with my Paraguayan family, and followed just about all of the customs here.
First let me take you into the psyche of Paraguayans for a minute. Paraguayans really love a good myth or supersition. My take on it, my humble personal opinion is that, there is a general lack of concrete information in Paraguay. There are many medical myths, old wives tales, Mama's rememdies instead of real medicine (sometimes work, sometimes DON'T) because of the lack of access to information. I believe that this lack of real info, has culitivated itself into the the culture into a real love of supersition and myths. The Catholic religion itself has various ceromonies and things you can do that seem very superstition-iny to me. Like lighting this color candle at your virgin Mary altar and saying this prayer 5 times while the candle is burning will bring you good health, etc.
So, be it this integrated fondness of myths and superstitions, I was told many things about the Ano Nuevo. One being, it sounds like, December 31 is used as a Spring cleaning day. It's a good day to clean your house from roof to floor "techo a piso". Also, you should wash ALL your laundry on this day and not have one piece of dirty clothing left as you pass into the New Year or you will have bad luck (I hope this one is not true!). Enterning the New Year is all about being clean, fresh, new. Wear new white underwear for luck in love. Wear new red underwear if you want to look for love. If you are trying to get someone to love you, but it's not coming to you easy, take a picture of them and somehow attach it to your waist under you clothes, tape or tie a string holding it to your body. In the new year, they will find you and never leave your side. Do this with a crip new Guarani bill (money) and you will be prosperous this year. There are many other supersitions like this for luck with love, money, and health. Those were just a few I heard. Most people like to wear something white or red, for the same reasons as the underwear, and wearing black is kind of, hmmm.... just a downer on this night. Many people still did, but it was commented on, like, "Whats up with the black? You want to spend your next year being triste (sad)?"
So, my family and I spent the day cleaning house, and getting the meal prepared. You once again, just like Christmas, don't eat until the stroke of midnight. At midnight, AGAIN, just like Christmas, the sky lights up like a war is taking place, rockets blasting, mini-bombs going off on all sides, as children and adults alike set of as many small fireworks, of all kinds for about a minute. When you hear all the noise you know it's the new year. So, my family handed me a glass full of grapes and told me I had to eat them. I am not a big fan of grapes as they don't do the seedless variety here, and they aren't as sweet as ours. But, I ate them. Halfway through, they told me I was supposed to making a wish for every grape I ate. I could only think of like 5 things and I had like 10 grapes and they were eating them so fast! I didn't finish in time, so I just put my grapes down when it was time to toast the traditional apple cider, to toast to the new year. We then, ate the rest of our new year's eve meal, which was chicken, bean salad, lentils with potatoes and carrots, and salad. No heavy breads or pig, so that was good! And of course, clericó, which is a fruit salad, this time with a bit of juice, wine and a touch of rum.
After the meal we said a family prayer to thank God for the year we just had and to ask for blessings in the year to come. The father was very nice in the prayer and thanked God for the chance to share with me their culture and to learn more about mine and the opporutnity to have someone come and work for the benefit of the youth in the neighborhood. Very sweet. The we said the Lord's prayer in Spanish (which I practically have memorized now seeing as how many times I've heard it) and some other Virgin Mary stuff I don't know.
Then, I helped me Mom clean up (they are nice people but not to clean, I am always cleaning up after them. They're super funny, my Mom is like, "Gosh, there are so many flies out today." As she as swatting them away in the kitchen. And I'm just like, yeah, well that's kind of what happens when you make orange juice, leave the orange peel in the overflowing trashcan with the lid off, spill some and not wipe it off the counter but let it sit and get sticky. So, then I just take the garbage out, clean up the blender, wipe the counter and spray some bug killer. And magic, less flies!) Then, the couple who are the "guides" for the local church youth group showed up with their stereo, as we were going to host a little after dinner dance party in our patio (My little sister who I live with is a member of the club). Then kids started arriving from their houses to hang out and dance, and some of us danced (like 5 out of the 15 that came) until 3:30-4ish in the morning.... Remember dinner didn't start until midnite, so we weren't up really all that late. Most people if they are OUT are partying until 5 or 6 am. I finished the dishes, cleaning up a bit from everything, brought all the chairs in with my little sister and crashed out.
Pretty uneventful, but it was calm. I had been to a Quince party the night before, had a really fun time, which unusual as usually the Quince is dragged out and they make you sit and wait forever for the meal to be served, then cutting the cake. Luckily, this was a more casual Quince, mostly from lack of funds, but it wasn't super fancy, so there was little waiting around. But, mostly, I was at a big table with all the kids from the Red Cross, who are the closest thing that I have to "friends" in town. Hector is my friend, he's young, be he is super cool for an 18 year old. Denice and David are a nice couple they are 19 and 23 respectively. Denice little brother is only 17, but he's nice, and has taken a liking to my little sister, Ana who is 15. So, I suspect I'll be seeing a lot more of him from now on. From there I met some of Hector's cousins who were all like 20-22 and danced with them. Most people around my age in Paraguay are married or have 1, if not 2 kids by now, so it's kind of hard to find someone on my equal to hang out with, so I make do with the younger kids, but we had a good time dancing until 4:30 am.
So the fact that my New Years was tame after a fun night was fine. I had fun for what it was worth.
Funny, sidenote, to show you how family based Paraguay is - a lot of volunteers went to the capitol city of Asunicon to ring in the New Years, to go out to a club/bar or something. Well, a lot of them wanted to go out and have a nice meal. They walked around an area of town where there are a few bars (discotecas as well call them here) and resturants around 9-10 pm. EVERYTHING WAS CLOSED. It looked like a ghost town they said. They stopped in the only thing that was open, which was a 24 hour pharamacy and asked the guy if they would find anywhere open to eat at this hour, he told them no chance. If they were hungry, there best bet was the gas station. So, they went to the gas station, bought crackers, cookies, chocolate and champagne and went back to the balcony of their hotel room and had a little picnic with the munchie foods. Later that night, midnight officially passed, they decided to try to head out to a club or bar, thinking they would open up. Sure enough, all the places that had just been closed a few hours ago, around 1:30-2:30 started coming alive and filling up, by the 3:30 the places were full, people were dancing the club was jumping at this point. No one was out before, because not even the rich leave their house to eat a fancy dinner out on New Years! EVERYTHING IS CLOSED. You do dinner in house, with your family. AFTER dinner with your family you head out to the bars to party. That's just the way it is. They danced until 5 am, and went back to the gas station for pre-made sandwiches and super-panchos (big hot dogs!) to make up for the meal they never had!
So, I am so curious to hear about how all my friends and family rang in the new year! If you are one of the few people who still actually reads this thing... holler back and tell me what you did, and how it was!
I wish everyone a super happy new year, and may 2008 be a year of dreams come true! I am looking forward to completing one whole year in Paraguay in 2009!
I have been in country for 11 months now, and in my service in Capiata for 8 months ;)
So, Christmas was fine here. I was warned that "They won't do Christmas how you want it to be done" but all our years of untraditional Christmases in Key West with warm weather served me well to not expect hot cocoa, fire places, Christmas caroling, and snowbell fights or anything like that.
We had a big dinner, pretty traditional, pig, chicken, turkey (turkey is pretty expensive, my family is kinda well off to be able to have it), Sopa Paraguaya (this cheesy, fatty bread, it's made with pig grease and cheese, good, but heavy), rice, Chipa Guazu (type of Paraguayan cornbread, also a little heavy). You don't start eating until about midnite, when you all toast at midnight and say "Felicidades" or "Congratulations". What are you congratulating you might ask? Well the arrival of Jesus of course. It's so funny how very much religiously oriented the holidays are here. Even religious families in the States might go to the church service, but to toast at midnite, the very moment of the 25th to celebrate the arrival of Jesus, who does that? Paraguayans. It's the same way with Easter, like a religious family in the States would go to the Sunday Service, but would not do stuff all week long, and focus so much of it on the actual Jesus stuff, it's about the Easter bunny and painted eggs for us!
I explained that to them, that for us the more family oriented part of it is the morning after (when they would all be sleeping because of how late that they had eaten the night before) is more important to us. It's when the little kids wake up because "Papa Noel" has come with the presents and everyone gathers under the tree to open and discover the presents. One present is normal here per family member and given out during the meal on at midnite. They have another gift-giving day of the "Dia de los Reyes" or King's Day, where you exchange presents, that's because that's when the wise men actually arrived with the gifts for Jesus, so that's when you give and get gifts. You don't rely on Papa Noel too much.
While in the malls here there is a day where kids can sit on Santa's lap, and decorations with him in it, it's not really that huge of influence here, because just like the music, fashion, etc. it's all outsider influence, it's our McDonald globalization type of influence and they like it, but when it comes down to it they have their own traditions for this day.
Tragically, the next day, I ate a lot of left over pig and Sopa Paraguaya which made my stomach super upset and I ended up starting to throw up at 3 am that morning, and I was sick all the next day in bed. I am recovered now, but I don't think I will ever eat Sopa Paraguaya again (it really is fattening, but Paraguayans will always be like, "What? You don't want any of my Sopa? Why?" and will just NOT understand how I can turn it down!). So, that kinda of sucked.
But, now I am all better. Awaiting arrival of New Year's Eve. I will most likely be having a dinner again (zans Sopa) at my old fam's house, followed by party at my house for the local church youth group. Yes, my little sister of my new house (15 years old) is a member of the youth group so we will be hosting the party where I live with this family, so there will be music and dancing at my house probably until about 4, 5 or 6 in the morning (Parties in general here don't START until around midnite and then it's not uncommon to see people drinking their last beers on the buses going home around 6 am). So, yes, that's right, you read right, I will be "partying" with 15-20 years olds from the church youth group for my New Year's eve. A hell of a lot different than what I was doing last year...hmm, what did I do last year? Ohhhh... yeah.... party with some people I worked with at Bennigan's just as lame really.
New Year's Eve is so overated anyways, so much pressure to do something "exciting" and "fun" to be at the hippest place, or whatever, it's just one night. One thing that is Paraguayan tradition that I really like, is the write down on a piece of paper all the things that went badly for you that year, and then put them in the trash, mix in a little water, and dump it out into the street. Not good for pollution, but great to cleanse your soul. So, that will be nice. I feel if I just relent to the fact that my New Years Eve will be lame, and is just another day, I will not be disappointed. It doesn't matter if I was in some fancy club in Asuncion, or in my house with my youth, either way, I'm not home, not with good old friends, so it's just going to be different period. The more I embrace that, the less it will suck.
So, I dont' know if you can tell from my tone, but I am ready for vacay. Being here since February, living with families, changing your whole life, dedicating practically everyday to others, is great. But you need a rest. A time to get away from Paraguay. We have decided we will not say, discuss or worry over Paraguay during our vacation, no work related talk what-so-ever. It's just draining to be preoccupied with the plight of this youth, or this, or the school, or people showing up to your meetings, etc etc.
Plus, with the holidays it's been kind of hard to "work", nobody is going to show up to meetings anytime during the week of Christmas, or the week after, or the week of New Year's, or the week after, soooo.... I've just been hanging out in site, spending time with families, and let me tell you, there is only so much terere you can drink, only so much small chat you can tolerate.... I love love love love Paraguayans, but it's not like talking with your American friends, where you can just talk freely about whatever and be understood... your reactions, your sounds, your opinions....it's just whatever....SO........ It will be nice when we go on vacay.
We will start with 3 days in Buenos Aires, then taking a ferry over to Colonia and taking a bus to Montevideo, then on to Punta del Este for 2 days and then a beach house in La Paloma, Costa Azul for 4 days, then we make our way back. 22 more days!
God bless for our your "Good Smaritan" donations this xmas people, I will be spendingly it thriftly on this much needed-break!
Love you all!
Besitos, Lorena
Sometimes I can hardly read the Nesweeks we so generously receive in our mailboxes everyweek. Or the one-click away news stories that sit at the bottem of the Yahoo page as I wait for my mail to load either. "Suicide bombing" this, "Another 56 dead" that.
I'm not sure why now (I have some theories) but why so many of these news stories affect me now in a way they never did before. Sure, we can all read them and say "Oh, how horrible!" but yet it's all felt very very far away before. I used to read the words and feels sad, but removed. Now, it's like I am much closer. My only theory on this is I now have a deep and binding love to another kind of people outside my own fellow countrymen. Getting to know Paraguayans has helped me see that while we all may have our own little cultural things that make us tick, we're all human, the same, we all want the same things, to have the best for our families, health and happiness. Dreams that have been robbed from the families in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I am also a lot more understanding now of cultural differences and traditions. While some of the the traditions and aspects of Middle-Eastern culture seem so repressive to us liberated, independent North Americans, I realize it's just a different framework for the same thing, life that is. It's just a different style of living, a different perspective, on the same thing. I am not saying I agree with women covering from head to toe or not laughing in public etc. These are repressive and are more things that the Taliban enforeced/es than the actual cultural norms themselves.
I look at the kids here, my kids, and think how I would feel if the big, bad US government stepped in to supposedly "protect" them. Be it that the situations are different, but the families and kids that will be changed forever aren't that much different. If they "protected" them and did so by destroying everything we know - the school where the children learn, the plaza where they kids play, the soccer fields where we practice,.
I think of the families torn apart, the generation of children that have grown up in a world of war. They know nothing but war, bombs, bullets, blood, and death. They know nothing else. My blood burns.
My sentiments can be best described by the song by Rise Against, "State of the Union":
State of the union address,
reads war torn country still a mess
the words: power, death, and distorted truth
are read between the lines of the red, white, and blue
[Chorus]
Your place in hell [x2]
'Guilty' is what our graves will read,
no years, no family, we did
nothing (nothing) to stop the murder of
a people just like us
The singer, Tim McIlrach, screams all of this over the heavy bass and thrashing guitars, I imagine the screams are all the energy he has left to say all of this, for the whole damn thing is tiring, draining, frustarating. All he can do is scream about. I agree, all those right-wing motherfuckers in Congress who can go to a big public (and be seen) church on Sunday and can vote to go war, or withold money for better armor to soldiers on Monday. Why aren't they doing everything in THEIR power to stop the madness that we created. What do they think the admission for getting into hell? War, death, destruction? No? It's not their families, it's not their schools, it's not their soccer fields.
Anger only masks fear, masks sadness. This burning blood, this hate, only covers the true feelings beneath - a deep burning sadness and fear. Fear about what it says about my country, who we are. Fear, for how the world now sees us, fear for our future. Fear, could it happen to us?
Reading a story in Nesweek, I snapped, the graphic images captured by the photographer which I am sure he won all kinds of awards for his bravery to enter these horrible places (no medals or prizes for the people that actually live there in that reality) cut through my heart. Mothers wailing over dead children, bloodied bodies, burnt limbs, destruction, fire, senslessness. I threw the Newsweek clear across the living room, letting out a stabbing shout as if someone had cut a knife right through me to poke at my heart. I brokedown and cried. I can't do it. I can't read about it too much.
Maybe you smile at how sentimental I am. Maybe you just say, "Lauren, you're an idealist who can't handle the realities of this harsh world," Maybe I am just a softy.
Tell that to the mother who is holding her dead child. Tell that to the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi families that have been torn apart because of our war. Tell that to them as you walk through their bullet and bomb ridden street. Tell them their all just too fucking sentimental.
My thoughts could also be summed up in this ditty by Jack Johnson, "Crying Shame":
Its such a tired game
Will it ever stop
How will this all play out
Upside out of my mouth
By now we should know
How to communicate instead of coming to blows
We're on a roll
And there ain't no stopping us now
We're burning under control
Isn't it strange how
We're all burning under the same sun
By now we say its a war for peace
Its the same old game
But do we really want to play?
We could close our eyes its still there
We could say its us against them
We can try but nobody wins
Gravity has got a hold on us all
We try to put it out
But its a growing flame
Using fear as fuel
Burning down our name
And it wont take too long
Cause words are burning same
And who we gunna blame now?
And oh, Its such a crying crying crying shame
Its such a crying crying crying shame
Its such a crying crying crying shame, shame, shame
By now
Its starting to show
A number of people are numbers who aint coming home
I can close my eyes its still there
Close my mind be alone
Close my heart and not care
But gravity has got a hold on us all
Its a terrific price to pay
But in the true sense of the word
Are we using what we've learned?
In the true sense of the word
Are we losing what we were?
Its such a tired game
Will it ever stop?
Is not for me to say
And is it in our blood?
Or is it just our fate?
And how will this all play out
Upside out of my mouth
And who we gunna blame?
On and on
Its such a crying crying crying shame
Its such a crying crying crying shame
I have been in a car only a handful of times in the last 10 1/2 months. Only 1 Paraguayan who I have built a good friendship with knows that I used to own a car. I used a microwave for the first time since I´ve been here the other day when I was in the office to heat up some leftovers. What Paraguayans tend to notice in the photos I show them from home:
In one, Dakota is swinging in a swing (Dakota is a dog, so it´s a very funny photo), but Paraguayans always ask about the super nice houses in the background shot of the park in Key West. These are the gov´t sponsored town houses, but they always "ooo" and "aahh" at how nice they are. That´s where the poor people live!
In the shot of my sister´s house you can see the front of the house and the garage with her Volkswagon sitting inside. Just barely in the corner you can see the front corner of my car peeking into the shot. They always note this, and say, "Wow, they have two cars" I always lie and say that friends were visiting that day.
In the photo of Luchi and Dad´s wedding, they point out the knit-lace top that she is wearing. To us, this is a pretty untraditional wedding dress, but to them it looks and seems like this local knit called Nanduti. Only the very wealthy can afford to garnish their wedding dresses with this knit-lace work of Nanduti and they always "ooo" and "aahh" at this, when really, it was not handcrafted by anyone, it was most likely made in a factory. I try to explain to them it´s not Nanduti, that we don´t even have Nanduti there, but it´s to no avail. They just look at me suspiciously like I am trying to hide the fact that we are mega-rich.
OK, back to my list. I do not cringe when I see a family of four, baby in front flying down the highway on a motorcycle without helmets. Now that it is officially summertime, there are more kids selling stuff in the streets than ever. Some days my heart breaks for them, especially the real little ones, 5 and 6 years olds forced to sell their Mom´s bread, juice, or lottery tickets on the buses. Other days I just shrug it off.
There are two little boys in my neighborhood who are ALWAYS in the street selling bread, year-round. The other day a 12-14 year old boy bought some "cidra" or cider. This cider is not a strong alcohol, but it is still alcohol, fermented apple. I drank it once awhile ago and caught a slight buzz, so I know it works. So, he bought the cidra, from a friend of mine who has a hamburger stand, I asked her why she sold to him (he´s obviously young, I mean the liquor laws are practically non-existant but come on!) She said all kids drink it. This was backed up by a shocked friend of mine who was told that she was drinking cidra, explained to her as "almost like juice" with her Mom and 7 year old host sister. She started to feel light-headed, but thought it was the heat. This friend isn´t much of a drinker, I told her it was alcoholic and she couldn´t believe it, but kids drink it here, like it´s no big deal. Back to the 12-14 year old. A group of at least 8, 7-11 year olds then formed an eager line, all fighting to be first, to take their turn drinking the cidra. They took a walk around the block, and as they were coming around the corner the littlest of the 2 brothers that I know that are ALWAYS selling in the street was downing the last of the cidra with everyone cheering him on. My heart broke. And you wonder how people end up alcoholics in the street. Because they start at freaking 7. That´s why.
I also enjoy the fact, that this friend who sold the kid the cidra very many times has proudly proclaimed she has never dranken alcohol, not one drop of it! No beer, no wine, no liquor! Not one drop! She´s religious, and I know she is proud about this. She then told me about how at Christmas, I would have to come to her house and try her clérico, which is fruit, fruit juice and wine mix. I told her then that I have given up drinking for awhile and I am prefering to be like her and not drink one drop of alcohol. I thought she´d be happy. She just looked at me confused like and said, "But apart from the wine, it´s almost non-alcoholic. It´s clércio, you have drink clérico at Christmas, or it´s just not Christmas!". I asked her if she drank, and she told me "Of course!" So, I guess she was exaggerating when she was talking about the "not one drop". Because I can guarantee the mixture is about half and half with this clérico stuff!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Cows and chickens, and well, when´s the last time you were two feet from a cow? I was less than an hour ago on my almost daily walk to the highway.
That´s all I can think of for now, later!
So, here's the thing. I have not written or kept up with my blog like I did when I first got here. I asked myself, "Why?" Is it because I'm busy?
Yes, that's one reason.
But, there are other reasons. One, it's not that I want to say I am "disenchanted" with Paraguay. Not by any means. But, the odd after time, becomes the norm. The strange and bizarre becomes apart of my daily life. It just is the way it is now, it's not new, it just is.
Secondly, I feel at a certain point, you realize that I could write a thousand posts, of culture, history, customs and traditions, about geography, language and my day to day life, and you, the reader would only be able to get maybe 7% of the feeling of what it is like to actually be here, not only be here, but to really be here. Just be. Here. Not as a tourist, not on vacation, but just living. Day to day life. It's something that can only be grasped by experience. So, I still would like to tell you about so many things, but I can't seem to find the words to explain the vastness of what I want to explain. I find the disconnect when I chat with you on the phone, listening about the normal activities you are participating back in the good 'ole USof A. I know what it means to do them, I've done them, I can relate, but they are all very far away things for me now. But, it's hard to tell you. I went to a Quince (the birthday party for a girl turning 15 years old), I went to a rezo (what takes place when someone dies, for a week after the die, then every 3 months for at least a year, 1-3 years, or if they were very important possibly indefinetley), I went grocery shopping, etc. All these things are different now, look different, and smell different! It's too much to explain, so I find myself just being quiet. Listening to what you all have to say about the US and just telling you I'm fine, I'm happy, which is true.
Sadly, the only time when I'm moved to really get into the culture/life differences is probably when I am frusturated, which is not good! Because I love this country and the people, there are so many good people here, and so many of them have been good to me. They have been great, but just as there is a disconnect between you and me right now, there will always be a slight disconnect between me and the Paraguayans, and that's just it. I will explain this later.
For now, here are a few things that you might like to know. For one, you don't knock on your neighbor's door, or ring the doorbell. You stand out side there gate, which almost everyone has one, like a fence with a gate (whether it be pieces of wood with barbed wire or iron, it's there) and you clap. So, knock knock jokes, don't really translate. There are no leash laws, or anything like that, and there's no dog catcher or spading or neuturing, so there's always a dog around. You get used to how to deal with them. When a dog is approaching you, you make a loud kissing sound at it, and it usually will stop and give you some space. If it does not, and it continues to approach you, or be agressive, pretend you are picking up a rock, most times you don't actually have to throw it to get it to go away, but every once awhile you do! What else, what else, you can't drink cold water with hot soup, and most people don't drink WITH their meal, only after. Oh, you share things here. Just like terere, the communal herbal tea drink I've told you so much about (you drink this everyday, usually twice a day, maybe 3 times when it's hot!), beer/wine you share, too. You buy a liter sized bottle, pour some in a glass and pass this around, each person taking a sip. Kind of like when potheads pass around a joint or something, puff, puff, pass, right? So, none of that personal bottle of beer, here. So, that's weird for us. There's are just of the few daily actions, things, that are different, but there's so much more to it than that.
OK, disconnect with Paraguayans. A story. My friend got a dog, just a regular puppy from some dog who had puppies in her neighborhood. While her family napped in the afternoons she has been training it in her backyard with dog treats she bought in the capitol, Asuncion. She's had if for at least 7 months now. She trained it in English only, she would have liked to done Guarani and Spanish, but too many little kids and even adults would probably try and order it around, therefore undoing her training so she just did English. Dogs serve two purposes and two purposes only in Paraguay. To be cute and bark if there is an intruder. I have never met a trained dog. So, needless to say, Paraguayans are amazed to see a dog that can sit, shake, and lay down on command. This is the conversation that follows:
Paraguayan(P): That's amazing! Did you bring this dog from the States? (The idea being that everything from the States is better quality, even our dogs!)
My friend, Jill (J): No, it's from here.
P: You must have paid a lot of money for him, then.
J: Um, no, I just got him from that Senora Fulana, right down the road, for free.
P: Why is this dog so smart then?
J: Um, I trained him.
P: Here let me try, "E-Seet" (Paraguayan bad pronunciation of "sit" in English)
Dog does nothing.
P: Well, he's not that smart, is he? Ha ha.
Yeah, so there's just a disconnect there.
OK, party at my friends host family's house. An obviously pregnant woman is drinking beer, just drinking away with the other Senoras. My friend asks about whether she knows the dangers of drinking during pregnancy quietley to her host mom. The host mom informs her she drank a little during her first two pregnancies, but during her last one, because the other volunteer that used to live with her always got on her. But, all her children turned out fine. Though in reality one of her children has a learning disability. But, that's just the thing, they don't say "learning disability". They would say, "He's slow." or "He's just stupid". You would have to spend time with him and work with him on his homework, etc to see that, but it's true. The thing is, unless it's a severe physical or mental deformity, it's hard to explain to Paraguayans that the reality of risk exists in the behavior. Because it's true, some women drink a little, and their kids turn out fine, so there's just a disconnect there, it's like you say, "Drinking during pregnancy can cause a, b, and c" and well, they don't really believe you. The reason why her son has a learning disability or "is slow" is attributed to the time there was a thunderstorm and bolt of lighting struck really loud and she got really really scared fast, like it startled her a lot. That is probably what went wrong with the baby. Yes, it's a disconnect.
So, I am sorry if my posts have been lame lately, but there's just too many words to explain it all. I hope when I come visit in June of 08 (can't get here quick enough!) that I can pour you some terere, with my thermos, into my guampa, with the yerba mate and yuyos, and you sip it through the bombilla, we won't have to talk too much. You can just sip, and drink it all in.
Love you all.
Chaucito
So, Hey All, Family, Friends, Random Strangers who read my blog which kind of freaks me out if you are male and over 35... Ja ja... (Seriously, I've gotten some messages, weirdos!) It's been awhile since I've written. Why?
Well, the projects are still going, some flying, some whatever, and I've gotten to this point about the work itself - TRANQUILOPA. I always want things to work out the best they can, of course. I put energy in all my projects, but in the end, I alone can't change what goes in my neighborhood. I've been workign with this group of people who came together because they wanted to start a neighborhood commision to fight to save their plaza. Well, they just kind of stopped coming to the meetings. That happens a lot here, a lot of talk, and very little action. At first they were making what I would say were the "wrong" decisions, wanting to have their meetings at this rich lady's house because it's pretty, and not at the school or church neutral/public territories. They also had this other idea of how to raise money, that without getting into details was "not good" and not going to work... So, I got all stressed out about what if my commission doens't work, and one of our trainers said, "Look, your the facilitator, you can provide the information, warn them why it may or may not work, promote group discussions so hopefully they can figure it all out on their own, without you TELLING them why it's bad, but if they want to continue with that idea, then continue on. If it doesn't work, they will have to come back to the drawing board, and look at other options. If it works, great, it worked! If they don't come back to the drawing board after one failed idea, then it sounds like they dont' really care about their plaza."
That's kind of like been my attitude about everything, I will do what I can do, but in the end, if people want kids camps, want baby classes, want yoga classes, want to organize themselves, they have to show up, too. It's not all on my shoulders to save Campo Verde or something.
And, I've been feeling super good ever since, ja ja. I haven't given up, I just try not to stress out as much anymore. I really have an issue with all that stress!
So.... as far as the title goes for this post, I just wanted to let you friends and family know that, as of now, I am not drinking (alcohol that is) anymore. Possibly, ever. I don't drink hardly ever in my community, and if I do it's like sips of beer (bc you all share the same glass here, you sip and pass) with a family or something, it's more when I get together with other volunteers in groups for birthdays or what not. I talked to the doc here today, I am not an alcoholic, just a bad binge drinker. This is a pattern that of course is encouraged during college and normalized. After college, living at the party beach atmosphere of Wilmington, and being friends with a lot of undergrads didn't help. Then, moving to FL, working some shitty resturant job with a whole bunch of guess who? More undergrads, continued the normalacy of drinking until you don't know when. During my time in the PC when I go out, I've tried to pinpoint it. I don't know which beer it is, number 3 or 6 or what, where I lose control and I drink until the bar is closed, or until good friends pry beer cans out of my hand, or tell me "it's time to go to bed". And sometimes I don't like listening at that point, like I've been told bc I don't remember, I will go get another beer after they tell me to stop, or something. So, basically I've tried to pinpoint where that magic number is and drink only to the point to where I still have my wits about me. But after trying everytime and never figuring it out, I realize, yeah, well, I guess I can't drink. And that's the end of it. I can't handle it.
Maybe later in life after I figure some stuff out I will be able to control it, but for now, for this year or so, I am giving it up. It's not going to be easy, as it as been such a part of my life for so long, it feels like a part of who I am, my identity, and I have to change that now. So, it's going to be hard... but I am super determined to do it. And I have good support system here. I have already quit smoking, so this just feels like a natural progression of valueing me more, etc etc.
To support my decision, I'm getting a tattoo. Fun. Angel wings on my back. Cliche, but they have many signifigances for me. 1) I've always wanted a tattoo. And this is like me saying I'm tired of always wishing I were this way or that way (non-smoker, thinner, with a tattoo) it's like me being like, "I am in control of how I want my life to be, how I want to be," and I want a tattoo, so there. 2) The wings represent I have the power to make myself fly through life, and I am choosing to fly instead of be bogged down with all this other crap 3) Something about trying to be a little closer to heaven (which I am not sure if I believe in, but I am reading the Bible, miraclously). I am so tired of people telling me that homosexuality is condemened in the Bible, while another Christian says that the quote was taking out of context, I realize nobody really knows what any of it all means, you can interpert it all how you want. But, I thought I can't just disagree anymore with something I don't know, so I'm reading it. I knew going to church all the time would affect me, and well, here's the proof, I'm actually trying to read my Bible. CRAZYness. I'll let you all know if I convert to Catholicism, Ja ja. That, wont' happen, promise people.
OK, so I just wanted to let you all know so you can all write me and tell me how proud you are, because, it's fun to hear stuff like that! Ja ja ja... Oh, and ps no worries on the whole, "I am so much more of an elevated person than you because I choose not to drink now," Because damn, if I can handle my booze, then I would drink, but I can't so I am not. But drink away you guys, I don't feel like that at all, and just want to be clear.
Well, I love you all very very much. And I can't wait to see you all in like 7 months. But, know that I am super happy chilling out in Paraguay and doing kid camps, and youth camps, and leadership camps, and yoga, and drinking terere (non-alcoholic tea drink).... LOVE YOU ALL!
~ Lorena
